The Impossible ‘What if?’

Whenever we found ourselves-
on the rock bottom of ‘life’,
I bet we all ask this question-
What if I did that?
What if I haven’t chosen that path,
I think I could’ve made it better,
What if I could fix this mistake.
We’ll be surrounded by our own circle of what ifs
And believe me, that’s not a good place!
It’s always a conundrum.
If you’re at that point of your life,
Same here!
I’m already there.
Don’t be shy.
And feel free!

But you know what I always wonder,
Although there’s no exact place,
A so called ‘up in the air’
‘Flawless,perfect, fancy and all’
I wonder the what ifs of those people.
Do they really wonder just like us?
Would they challenge themselves with the same questions?
Is there anything thing they say ‘I wouldve’?
May be they might,
Or may be not.

The whole idea is scary, perhaps.
But, you know what scares me most,
The ‘impossible what if’s
What if I achieve all the things I dreamt of?
What if I become that person I wanted to become,
What if all my fantasies become real?
What if the version of what I thought was best,
Becomes an actual beast.
Driven by money, power or education.
What if I become one of those people?
I ain’t wanna see the picture,

On the other side,
What if I become all the things I couldn’t heal from?
What if those are the things which made up what I’m now.
That’s the impossible what if I’m scared of.
With many possible answers.
And ofcourse I don’t know how to face that what if.
I don’t think I’m dealing with any of it anyway.
But who knows?!
There’s no impossible what if in the first place?