She was ruminating. Lost in her own universe. It was like she was asleep right in front of him while her eyes were wide open. It was the first time he realized that waking someone from sleep was much easier. He knows her. At least, better than many people in her life. She knows that too. What he doesn’t know is that knowing her better than the world is not enough. Because she is made of multiple layers. And he only knew the first few. Beneath the layers and layers, there lies a person. A whole, new, different person. The world doesn’t know that.

In propriety, she may let in some people into her life. She might atleast open the gate for them. But in reality, the gate that is opened is right next to another gate.

Here’s something about life. In life, almost everyone is afraid of death. All the people she met were really afraid of death. Even when they say they are not, she knew exactly that they really are. That’s when she realized there is a huge difference between her and the world. She wasn’t afraid of death. Not a little bit. She was terrified of life, though. Very much. The only thing she was scared of was tomorrow. Oh tomorrow! And the day after that. And the next. That was what she was thinking of when he waked her up. “Why am I not scared of death? Just like everyone? Why do I freak out with the thought of tomorrow? Why do I breakdown by the glance of my future?” He called her name again when she was trying to remember what she was thinking about when she was deep in thought. Life!

She saw him in tearful eyes with a hint of smile. She was trying to make sure her smile was much bigger and stronger than her tears. Tears give you away. But laughter builds you a firewall. He stood frozen not knowing what to ask or what to say next. So he said, “let’s go some place else or walk?” She nodded since she wasn’t sure of her voice. And she followed him.

And so they went out of the park. A larger crowd faced them. He then decided to head towards their usual spot. She’s barely moving her feet trying to follow wherever he would take her. She feels like she was in a dream and now awaken to reality. Heavy eyes, weakened limbs. Was she asleep or deep in thought? He is heading somewhere. She is following him. She is trying to paint the smile on her face. He is quiet. She wondered what he might be thinking about. For a brief second she thought, “did he see through me?” But then she answered to herself “no, that’s not possible.” He turn around to see if she’s coming. She gave him a nod along with a bigger smile. She’s relieved her smile is winning.

He wanted to say something. He really thought he should. He just couldn’t utter a word. He wanted to talk about anything. But then, his mind left him bereft. So he is wandering just like the rest of the people on the road. He hoped to get to there faster. At least sitting would help. Or having a sip of a drink.

He went back to the moment where she froze. He was talking about life, hope and all. He knew she is sensitive about these things. But he wasn’t sure why or he never understood the level of despair she was in. He didn’t think it would turn out in her teleporting to the other universe and him being left speechless. He felt like he smashed down a huge jenga puzzle to the extent he doesn’t even know how to rebuild it again. For now, the only quick fix he is thinking, sitting down and having a glass of water would clear his mind. Or magically put some words on his tongue. Fingers crossed.

“So”,he said after he took a sip from his water. His idea of quick fix is working. He has few words now. She looked him in the eye with the painted smile on her face and replied, “so…”. “I think our generation is obsessed with post apocalyptic events, don’t you think?” He waited for her to say something agreeable raising his brows while he’s taking another sip. She knew he’s trying to get her back to this universe and make her interested in imaginations, philosophy or ideologies. Despite her usual interest in these things, she wanted to stay in her ideal universe for a while. In the middle of the debate she’s having with herself, she was taking longer than a while to give him a response. She excused herself to go to the rest room.

As she stood infront of the mirror, she kept telling herself that she can do this. This is just another day. Like the other days. She reminded herself that she can’t start ruminating about her life now. That’s always done when she’s alone. Life is not all about doing what you love. It’s about not showing the hate for the things you don’t want to do. She recited that again and again while feeling the cold water along her face. And when she step out, she had a bigger smile on her face. Ready for the day! For the moment! She decided to be here, not out there.

After she took a sip of her coffee, she went on and on about what he started as a quick fix. They laughed. They talked a lot about other things. But she wasn’t reminiscing about life anymore. He didn’t bring it up either. He was happy she’s smiling and talking her heart out. As the time closes to dusk, they walked home. And both thought quietly, “not that bad, after all.”