If you were given a chance-
To choose between life and death,
To stay awake or to sleep forever,
Which one would you choose?

I want to say life,
But, then- if I stay

If I stay,
If I choose to breath,
More than I want death,
I think I would be foolish.
Better yet, the queen of the foolish!

If I stay,
If I choose to breath,
More than I want death,
What am I gonna do with my hatred?
The venom inside my body,
The bitter scoop of my inside,
How am I gonna live with that?
Am I gonna spill my gut out?
To pour out my venom?
Am I gonna suck the air out of my lung?
Just to stop the bitter taste in my mouth?
How is it better, then?
To choose life than death.

If I stay,
If I choose to breath,
More than I want death,
What am I gonna do with my fierce rage?
The rising anger inside my body,
How am I gonna draw a single breath?
And feed the fire of violence inside?
So then it will grow and burn me out,
Is this really choosing life?
Or a slow, tormenting death?

If I stay,
If I choose to breath,
More than I want death,
How am I gonna live?

If I stay, my pain won’t vanish,
If I stay, my own venom will kill me,
If I stay, I will die not sooner, but later.
And by then- it will be long, agonizing death.

If both life and death-
Are self inflicted,
Then, I choose death.
If staying awake was an option,
Then I choose not be awake ever again.
If death is inevitable more than life-
Then, of course I choose the inevitable!

If I stay is delicate,
Intricate, even.
It is solely dependent on-
The premise of hope,
And things get better,
May be not now,
But sooner or later.
Everyone, who chooses to stay-
Is saying that tomorrow is better,
And colorful, hopeful even brighter.
What if it’s not?
What if tomorrow is worse?
Worse than now,
Even weirder and harder?
Are you smart then?

What if I choose not to stay?
Why is it wrong at so many levels?
Why does everyone keep telling me-
That people have been in worse situation than me?
I didn’t ask if there was something worse than my life?
For starters, I didn’t even ask if there was better?
I only said, I don’t want to stay.
If choosing death means losing,
Then, I proudly choose to lose.
I choose not to give my venom a chance.
I choose to subside my violence.
I choose to let go-
Of things that are holding me back from life.
I choose death,
Not once, but multiple times.

Who knows if death is an end of an era?
No one!
But I’m hopeful on this,
Or may be I choose the illusion,
The illusion that death ends pain.
Of all the things to believe,
I choose to believe this!

This is one of my reverie-
The universe of love!
Where love is the king,
Where love falls like a rain,
Where love is in the air,
Where love reigns,
Like it’s the only thing there’s.
Monarchy at it’s fi nest-
Where autocracy is loved and cherished.

But, it’s not just a daydream.
Universe of love is coming,
Soon, very soon perhaps.
On the day my Redeemer returns-
He brings down this universe.
By then, loving is not absurd,
It’s being honored!

I want to have someone whom I call my person.
Not someone I would have romantic relationship with,
But someone whom I can talk to the whole night,
Someone who can’t irritate me even in my worst days.
Someone whom I can call to-
Even when I am crying,
Or ecstatic.
Someone who can love my crazy ideas,
Someone who can adore my insane fantasies.
Someone who can cross miles just to hear my voice,
To make sure that I’m okay.

Don’t get me wrong-
It shouldn’t be romantic.
That’s how the world made us believe-
That genuine love is inexpensive.
But in reality,
It’s love at the finest.

My person-
I wonder where you are!
I wonder if you’re seeking to find me too.
I wonder if we’re thinking telepathically,

I wish you’re though-
Somewhere in the world,
May be in your dreamland.
Or may be in the deepest part of your soul.
I can’t help wondering-
If I can meet you one day.
If I could join you in your fantasy island,
If I could see the world in your perception,
In your perspective.

I don’t want us to be indistinguishable,
Or a clone of some sort, for that matter.
I hope you would be someone different-
Someone in my wildest dreams,
Who can challenge my whole thought system,
Who can wreck my shallow grounds,

Someone who can create the best version of me-
By challenging me,
And most of all, understanding me.

I cant help it but wonder-
If this is too much to ask for,
Or even selfish to wish for.
Perhaps, very self involved.
My person, do you think that’s true?
Do you think I’m being inconsiderate?
Do you feel like I’m asking too much too?

I hope not!
I really hope not.

My person-
Our love is the finest.
The real one.
It can’t be too selfish,
Or self involved,
Or too much.
The love and the respect we have,
It keeps us together;
Bound to one another,
With no strings involved,
Or some physical touch.
Just us, in us!

My person,
I wonder where you are.
I hope our paths cross with each other,
In the very near future.
Don’t make me wait too long,
For I can’t wait to belong.
I’m sick and tired of this world,
Telling me how to think-
Or feel and talk.
I’m tired of being told,
That I’m crazy, or weird.
I’m tired of trying,
To fit in somewhere,
To find a spot to share.
Please don’t make me wait too long,
For the waiting-
Is crushing my soul.

My person,
Wherever you’re –
I wish you all the best,
For I can’t wait to meet you,
Not the piece of you-
But the complete you!

If I had a tree house,
I would make it my home.

I will make it my fort,
My zone of comfort.
To exhale so hard,
Without being too loud.
To breathe in the air-
Cool, relaxing and deep air.
Talking with the leaves,
Making the tree my giant friend,
Spending day and night,
Watching the time goes by,
Following the shadow of the sun-
Watching the moon glow:
And the stars sparkle,
Then, to go dim again-
When the day breaks.

And of course, the clouds-
Oh the clouds!
Making a shape out of them,
Funny, artistic and cute ones.
Adoring them when they cover the sun:
Hating them for blurring the moon,
Loving them even more-
For pouring out the water,
For crying along with my eyes,
For pausing the motions on the ground,
For feeding my giant friend,
I think clouds are my crush:
Since I can feel my face blush.

If I had a tree house,
I would make it my home.

I would never go back down-
To the ground: why would I?
My solitude would be my companion,
My loneliness would be a random guest,
My silence would be my lover,
And my voice would be my unlikely visitor,
Whom I would enjoy occasionally.

If I had a tree house,
I would make it my home.

That will be my forever spot,
By now and then, always.
I won’t grow old for it;
I promise to cherish it-
I swear to perch on it,
With excitement and enthusiasm,
Whenever and however I see it.

If I had a tree house,
I would make it my home.
Forever and always!

I want to fall in love.
I want to get lost,
In someone’s/something’s shadow.
No thinking – no overthinking.
No pain – no stress.
Just sharing moments.
Cherishing every bit of seasons,
Not just winter and summer,
Or autumn and spiring.
All seasons of blueness,
Every single day of numbness,
Each note of the bliss-
Every composure of happiness.
I do – I want to fall in love-
Again and again- again.
To be lost in the ocean- of emotions,
Overwhelmed by every piece of it.
I want to be lost in you – my silence.
I want to be awestruck with your beauty-again,
Oh dear silence – oh my beloved!
I want to be lost in you-
Only in you – forever!