Appalled. I’m way too appalled
And bewildered.
By the monotony of life,
The mundane strife,
And the constant agitation
Of the world inside my head.
My perpetual descent
Is incessantly progressing
To the days, unending.
Weeks, unrelenting.
And months, unyielding.
Yet.
I’m bewildered, yet unbothered.
Bewildered, only, inside my head,
Unbothered and unwavered
For I embraced
It all.
I don’t take you for granted, ofcourse.
I cannot possibly do that.
But the things you tell me,
The, good, great things you appreciate of me,
Makes me wonder if you are seeing,
Someone in my stead.
Someone perfect.
Someone qualified and accepted.
Someone who earned your honor.
Someone who is validated.
Someone whom you want to see.
Not someone who is in me.
That’s why your words hurt me.
Your words give me a sour taste in my mouth,
And a sore ache down my spine.
Not because they are bad,
Nor not necessarily false,
But because they are great.
Because after all,
That’s not how I picture myself.
That’s not what my mirror reflects.
Do know, though,
That’s not my excuse,
It’s just my reality.
I used to cry outloud,
All the pain I carry inside.
In time, as pain deepens,
It took away my voice too.
I surrender to my torment.
I no longer know how to cry,
Or how to carry the burden.
My groans are plenty,
And my heart is faint.
My whole body is in ache.
Drained out- almost dead!
Life is a dance, my darling!
Feel the rhythm!
Close your eyes,
And hear it within your heart.
Create a memory of it in your soul.
Sway with the music!
Go left and go right!
Dance with it!
And just feel it!
Unabridged Manuscripts 