Rant 04: Overshadow



If anyone were to talk about their struggles of the past, everyone would acclaim them the title of a hero. Since they are talking about the deeds of yesterday, everyone shall welcome them with the brace of winners if not a leader to be followed. If one were to talk about the misery of the now, the depth of the agony they are facing, everyone retreats to the edges. The NOW poses a challenge more than a past does. We are, yet, mortified of wounds than scars.

But then again, it is rather easy to talk about things in the past[even for yourself]. It is truly difficult to admit the reality of what is happening than what has happened. Standing in the now, there’s the wavering stance of whether this shall be over or not. Would we ever succumb the idea of life to remain as it is, or should we just give upon the idea of living itself?! The NOW stands for conundrum. It calls out for a decision. It summons all the strength we have in ourselves. Better yet, the NOW damns us to our own future.

If we were to cry about our past, though, the unanimous mantra of ‘The PAST is already in the PAST’ would follow. And we know it to be true. Even if it is dictating the NOW, no one has the stance to blame it. Or to challenge it.

The PAST, the NOW, it’s all us, anyway. It is the fabric that tightens around every bit of ourselves to make us who we are. Whatever that means.

In a mere self awareness, people try to bury their now in their past. Or their past in the now. Whichever one works!

Rants of the Absurdist

Rant 03: The Taste of the Real World


‘The tale must go on,’ she whispered. But the party returned their face to listen. Her whisper had a power to order, apparently. People barely listened to her when she talked. But they heard quite well when she whispered.

‘It’s rather a happy one. It is not like the ones you hate.’ She took a moment for herself.  ‘How does the world taste? The real one?’ She posed hoping someone would interfere. The room went quiet. ‘It’s bitter, I must say. If there was anyway a person can taste the world, it would be through reality. Teasing it. Tempting it. Or putting an end to it. In any way, it’s unbecoming. The taste I mean. It wrecks the build of your entity for it falters whatever resilience you build to maintain your end.’

‘I thought this was supposed to be a happy tale,’ she heard a whisper.

‘What makes a story a happy one? The beginning or the end?’ She looked in the direction of the whisper. No one peeped.

‘Tempting a reality is perhaps a valiant action,’ she went on. ‘to the point where reality takes over and haunt us back. Losing yourself, your temper, your patience over the hauling existence but not something that can be captivated is perhaps a conundrum one has to suffer from. In life, losing a thing or two, that truly means dear to you is a lesson. And of course a taste of the real world. The first time I lost something of my own, I felt…well words fail, don’t they?! If it was a taste I must describe, I would say it was bitter. And I thought it would kill me. I thought that was a taste of poison. But poison is not always dreary, is it? I didn’t suck out of the poison, nonetheless. Not late, nor early. I sunk into it to have the real taste of it.’

‘Why would one whine and threaten?
For a life that thoroughly thorn?
One must not cry nor pity
The loving existence of one’s folly.
One rather must endure the taste,
To forlorn the worst,
To accept the best.’

‘For the worst of a taste, we see the eye of reality. Perhaps, a god of all. For the bane of our existence, we might even find something sweet. The thing they call love.’ And she walked away for she cannot see the face of her subjects. The subjects of her story, that it.

Rants of the Absurdist

Rant 02: The Bipolar Tales


‘It’s rather weary to find oneself in a constant state of self-loathing. Dreary, I must say. ‘ She can hear herself blitzing through the conversations. She cannot let the others ask her a question. Or take a notice of what she is saying. This must happen fast. Conversations must end quickly. The things she does to keep herself sane.

It’s yet the second week since she has been dealing with her depression episode. Up until then she has been one jolly manic for long. Maybe, for so long she forgot how her highs are doomed to get lower. Perhaps lower she had ever seen before. And yet, here she is amidst the random chaos where she’s supposed to act like a commoner. She scolded herself for being so harsh, but she cannot help herself except to think how the conversations are so simple more than she would like them to be.

It’s the matter of pain that keeps her awake. Her pain is the constant companion. Her guardian angel that keeps her alive time and time again. In the joyous manic days, pain fools her by hiding itself. But she knows it always assume the place of a overshadowing cloud at the edge. Yet, she is happy. She feels capable of changing the world. Herself. Everything. All of a sudden her wonders change her into becoming a wonder woman. She chuckled for herself. ‘What is so funny?’, said her company in mere curiosity of her unbecoming laughter. ‘It’s just the wonders of life…in my head.’ He grinned quietly out of propriety not kindness nor understanding.

Manic is the her secret power to prowess. All the gratitude she gets for her attempt of existence. She sure seems happy. Smiling all the time. Doing things rather quickly. It is her unattended self that keeps going. But then, there goes the doom of existence. The guilt of breathing the same air like the ton. The eerie of living. And the past few weeks, her two polaroids of moods have been so mixed up. If anyone had noticed, she has been glitching like a system that has failed.

She pinched herself to bring herself back to the now. The now looks damned.

‘What’s it about myself I hate so much? Isn’t it okay to be less of a human from time to time? Why is it so odd to be cared for? How can you be overwhelmed for being given an attention? How can you be tantalized even traumatized by a thought of someone being in your life? Isn’t this the unwritten rule of society?’

‘Does it really matter to be part of a society? Is it really a matter of life and death to do these things? One day I can be there. The next I can’t be sure. The next I am not even sure if I am willing to see the sun. Somedays, the brightness of my days, my life is okay. But the other my horizon cannot go beyond the rims of my blanket. How must one exist when there is a constant dread in oneself? ‘

She excused herself before she said all the nonsense in her head. She nudged herself to take a respite from the noise, the people and perhaps herself. Would she ever take a break from herself though?

Rants of the Absurdist

Rant 01: I would rather die!



‘I would rather die!’ , she said, squealing. She is muffling her smile while keeping herself together. Lately, everything has become tiring she is giving less and less care about her perception, life and whatever she used to uphold beyond herself. And when her long gone friend comes to her and asks if she can pretend to be normal for a minute, all she can say, all she can say was ‘I would rather die!’.

Good thing we live in the era of sarcasm.

Pain is no longer a dully noted reality for her. It is a companion of hers to be kept all the time. What is it to be alive? If she dare asks herself for a moment, she will just concede to the idea of living in a full of piercing pain. For every breath she sighs, there is a pain she feels. For every glance she receives, there is a dark shade she gives away. And for every pain she feels, there is a guilt of feeling it. Wouldn’t it be easy if her pain was just hers? Why does she need her pain to be accepted within the rest? Why is a physical pain justified, whereas a mental one is not?

If she were to say that she’s suffering from cancer, everyone would sympathize. If she got a broken leg, everyone is running up and down to make sure she’s getting what she needs. What is it about depression everyone hates? What about it? Is it not a sickness? Why does it have to be a visible scar that everyone must see? Why is it so complicated that it should be, anyway?

If she wrote this hiding it in a story or a poem, everybody would love it. It’s just harsh to hear the truth as it is, isn’t it? But then again, who cares?!

Rants of the Absurdist

What Shall a Woman Do?

Looking at the title, if you presume this piece is a feminist rant, let me relieve you of the stress. It is not. It is just to show the writer is a woman. Now the air has cleared out, let’s explore what a woman shall do in this life just like any other confused bunch.

They say the distance from one head to heart is the farthest. It is probably why emotions and logic never take part in a same journey. How unthinkable?! How unforgivable, even? If life is all about the patterns to fall apart during pain and recover after the punches, it would be boring. Wouldn’t it?

Do you suppose a person becomes more of a human after suffering through a remarkable pain? Or is it just a mere coincidence that people who have been through a lot creates and become more in life? Even for those who have been through a lot, is it possible for them to see beyond the traps of their yesterday and live in the present? Is it really formidable for a woman to find a man in pain much more attractive than the rest? [If I may speak my mind freely]

Is it also a thing if people with less pain assume that they understand the pain of the worst? Let’s trace back a little and wonder if any individual human being is capable of understanding the fair share of another. Forgive me if I am sequestering you with a lot of wonders and what ifs? But is it really possible for a person to put the hypothetical shoes of the next person? Even better, is it possible [fathomable] to understand the pain of the other in a land of hypothesis? If such understanding is hard to grasp, how then should one live to see another day?

I am usually baffled by the rules of society. How can you be so unaware of a life that breaks, hurts, and entraps? How do you manage to see another day while surrounded by too much of misunderstanding, disrespect, and envy of what you could’ve been? What you should have become? The kind of being you were supposed to be? [whatever that means].

What shall a woman do for being taken less of her opinions? Her choices? Her life decisions and more so her distinct values in life? Is she ever going to find a friend? Will she ever be the one to rise from the ashes of the burning pain? Will she ever find a way from her head to her heart? If so, will life brace her to become more than of herself? Much better of what she will ever be? Or is she doomed to give away her hopes to the rues & dooms of life? 

Good thing life is not just full of pain. It is also filled with jest and denial. Until this woman finds a way to sustain the undeniable aches of pain, she would rather confide in the whelms of the jest. Perhaps, the better days will follow the whimsy of her jest to make her life a little easier. Or maybe not. Rant is over for now. 

Integrity is a Rarity!


In a world of distrust and too much of cruelty, it is rather hard to find a sensible human amongst the ton. The ton of narcissists, egotists, and simpletons to be more exact. If there were more unsettling ways of dismantling the realm of human existence, I am sure the sensible portion of the ton would have figured it out by now. 

How can one live with integrity when all are entangled within the web of lies, disloyalty, and sea of unflattering whimsy. If life is all about the non-sensical bits of living for the pursuit of money rather than wisdom, hate & power rather than respect and responsibility, it’s time for all of us to start wondering what we are doing and becoming. 

True, life engraved in pain and scrutiny embellish few or more people to live appropriately. But pain is the edge of a coin to either convert you into a bitter person or a gentle one. Whichever one pain molds you into is usually a choice of your own. The edges of the coin are really a symbol of a unique perspective pain helps you to behold. Or perhaps gives you a choice for you to make.

Yet, how can one choose the life of integrity whether one experiences pain or not? The question of the matter is merely how one become a sensible human. It is a quest of what one would like to become. A person of character, value, and principles. Life is not a puzzle of the fancy of these words we usually confide in to sound sage. These are rather the invisible columns that helps stand a society. 

The human society is quite under the churn of progress. It is always and forever will be through that churn. Even with the increased fondness we all are having for individualism, it might be possible for introverts become leaders of the world. But, who would want that anyway? Not even the introverts themselves, for that matter. 

One might wonder, ‘What makes a work done a well done?’ For most, productivity is measured by the amount of things you do. The things you can cross of your to do list for the day. But after a very long day, sometimes all you can be left with is a work done. Not a job well done. That’s why most agree the world is made for hustlers, not hard workers.

Be all as it may, life is not full of a good wonder all the time. It is probable that it might be the exact the opposite. Surely, integrity won’t hurt anyone, though. Becoming a person of honor despite what life throws at you is much more admirable. One is fully aware that life is not for these people. Success or fame won’t follow them. But life prevails within them. And one can only hope this is worth to live for at the end of the day. Integrity might be a rare jewel to be looked at and admired, yet not to be worn. A wish of a good luck will not hurt anyone, though.


The Shenanigans of Healing

Through patience and pain, we learn to surrender to life.

I would say many are surviving the days with all the power they could master. Most are in a mere existence mode. So much so, that many would relate and empathize with the sentence I have marked. Pain is the new normal, perhaps. Or maybe there is no normal anymore. The equivalent of hunting and gathering is, perhaps, surviving and existing. 

Nevertheless, it is not all foolish to wonder if there is a horizon beyond the insurmountable pain most experience. Pain powered by patience is a powerful tool to push anyone to the edge of healing. And that specific moment to open the wound marks the fight for healing whilst escalating the pain.

What if there is no healing? I, sometimes, wonder. If there was no such a state called healing, it might be easier to wallow in the pain forever and ever. But then, what if there is? It’s all ifs and wonders after all, isn’t it?

Despite all the ponders, I would like to think that healing could be a journey. In a mere romanticization of pain and suffering, one might succumb to the idea of living in constant pain. But that can be a bit of an extreme. Nor that I am saying all should believe in joy and elation. It is, yet, a mere fact that all need a balance in life. Perhaps, that balance is defined as healing.

These days, more often than not, I feel that constant pain in my bones. It is not a physical pain per se. It is a pain of crossing the boundary of living in constant pain to the paths of healing. My body feels the trauma shatter in every piece of myself. O the trouble of finding the neutral version of yourself while feeling the pain to cease your own death! 

In all truth, I believe healing is a constant journey. I do not think it is a state you achieve at some point. It is rather unresolved shenanigans of life itself.  Well, it is life after all!

The Unfolding Magic of Music




Everybody listens to music. Maybe not in a strict sense of devouring every rhythm and beat. But yes, everyone listens to music. Little did I know, I used to underestimate this magic to the veils of logic and rationale. If only the firmaments of the world were built in sheer logic!

Well, music is magic. It is a whimsical vibration and collision of all the right strings in one. But more than the awe you experience within great music, there is an uncensored bond to be fostered. The pickles of rhythms are more than enough to craft a bold connection within the threads of everyday routine.

Within the sphere of melody, one can carve out the liveliness of life itself. Unfolding the constant waves of music can be the gateway to heaven we all desire. Truth, wit, harmony, and thoughts are thoroughly lodged within music. To console the broken, to caress the open wounds, and to shield the forsaken into the safe haven of life. Within every rhythm, the magic incessantly unfolds. The melodies sync to restore what is lost. To thrive between the creases of the valley. And when you find a thirsty soul like yours, a match is made in heaven.

Life is captured in a sound. Joy has a rhythm. Sadness is bound in melodies. Art is reflected in tunes. Loss is echoed within the raves of tones.

Music is the universal language we all utter. Within the range of beats, we salvage our breaking hearts. We hold the fragmented pieces of ourselves together. We embellish the words not to conform but to take us elsewhere. The place of understanding. A place where loss is grieved. Pain is deeply felt. Love is truly imbibed. Sadness and joy are truly traced. Within the tales of music, fire is ignited. Passion is burnt all the way through.

The sensical rhythms you share with each other create a bond you can not really speak in words. Yes, friendships are random treasures we usually stumble upon. But shared tunes are the secret ingredients of life in nurturing the unquenched thirst of living. Life goes on. Always. But music provides a solace and a buffer towards life itself.

The magic unfolds every step of the way. Music, life, friendship. Come, hither follow the tune to have it all!

The Untold Byproduct



During a random conversation with a friend, the phrase, ‘untold byproduct’ captured my attention. Individualism is the new trend these days. The untold byproduct of the age. A few centuries back, people would fall apart if they weren’t founded on the deep roots of society. But nowadays, we are much more self-centered and rooted in our own realms. In all honesty, it seems to be working. With the haste and constant chaos we live in, it is a bit of hard work to maintain society itself. With individualism set as a trend though; we exist, we attempt to live, and then we die. There is probably more to it. But how would we know anyway?!

Yes, it is a shared concern that society is failing. The communal values we had built our essence on are becoming a source of mockery, lately. Are we ever going to be able to salvage the dooms we are trying to survive? Can all the questions of life be answered with the advancement of technology? Can we summon the flails of life with restructuring the customs? By reforming culture and tradition? Or have we, yet, to realize we are living our life on a sinking ship? The ship is sinking. Life is doomed. Why not chant away our lives, anyway?

In a world where the premise of individual lives matters more, families are becoming brittle forces of the community. The values we assign for the things that matters the least are the ways we die on. The things we are consuming; physically and mentally, are the reminders that we are thoroughly killing ourselves while polishing our surfaces.

Maybe we have a fetish of a world ending. A giant apocalypse that could take us all.

Meanwhile, with a failing society and thriving individuals, we are all dying a little more. We are thriving while dying. Within the realms of postmodernity, the advancement of technology, and the liberal Western democracy; we are being restructured in a different way from before. And I am conceding to the sayings of sociologists and ancient existentialists – the individual is the untold and undreamed byproduct of the age. We both as a society and as individuals are getting consumed inside our brains and getting drenched in the emptiness of it. We no longer have wide green grasslands and barns and sunsets and large families, and loyalty, integrity, accountability, and responsibility. We no longer see our lives as a thing that matters less and the lives of others that matter more. Love has gone so cold. And life has lost its warmth. Within the superficial crescendos we craft ourselves, we are doomed to die with no cause.

But, remember, in the midst of death, life persists.

Oh, For the Love of …, Should we Monetize Everything?!

I suppose not.

In the realm of creativity, where shall one find the value of good work? Within the praises of others? In utter satisfaction of your audience? Or the thought process you got to unlock? 

Yes, we write, paint, and craft for the people. But is that the marker of our value? Does that put the right standard and value in our work? Why can’t we keep doing some of the things for the love of them, though? Just for the hell of creating. If life was to be bound with the flares of the return on investment, do you suppose we would’ve gotten this far?

People drive their inspiration ubiquitously. Some find it lodged beneath the layers of self doubt proving the worth of their craft. Others may find it on the rims of their ego making them suppose to have produced the best there is. (It might or might not be the case every time.) And there are others who create to appease the god of creativity embedded within their soul. I am not bounding the types of people into three, nor am I conceding to know how the mind of a creative works. Yet, there are common mantras that almost all creatives suffer through.

Monetizing has its perks. (more than perks.) Nobody wants to become a hungry artist in this day and age, that’s for sure. But it has significant quirks, as well. For some, if not for most, the moment money becomes the center/goal of their creativity, it reduces the quality of work they produce. For instance, if you tell someone to create a design without leaving any room for creativity, they feel hand tied to your orders. After all, the order (getting paid for the work) is on the line. But, imagine this scenario a little different from the first. What if you go to your designer and tell him your ideas and ask what he makes of them? What if you tickle his creative mind to add insight? What if you get him to co-create with you? I bet you already know where I am getting at.

Passion, integrity, and creativity thrive together. One cannot survive without the other. And if monetizing your work is hindering your integrity, ruining your creativity, and averting your passion, that is probably an SOS call for you to take a pose and reconsider. For money could devalue your worth rather than nurture it. Just monetize carefully. All could be good in time!

Treadmill Tales: Change is the ONLY Constant


Do you remember? When we were kids, we had our lives all figured out. From start to finish, we knew what we were going to do. Back then, what you had in mind was possible. Nothing seemed impossible. The more you grow older, though, life starts to get real. It becomes inevitable to avoid change, reality, and the byproducts of life itself.

It has been a few years since I gave myself a little resolute from the life I was supposed to be having. In a way, I was in between lives (I still am). Many people ask what happens in between. In short, life happened to my life. Reality unlocked its bounds to relieve me off the fixed chains I was absorbed in. And yes, everything has changed, yet feels the same.

Throughout life, change is the only constant. I have learned that in a harsh way. As someone who dreads change, it always takes a while for me to get used to it. Not only is that change a constant, but in my case, it almost happens every step of the way. I barely could pose to take a moment and breathe.

If you want to see how much you have changed over the years, take a little joy ride down memory lane. It will enlighten the distance you have come across from then to now. Your perspectives will shock you. Your styles will amuse you. And your innocence warmth your heart.

Change is the ONLY constant. Everything changes. We change. Other people change. Sometimes, we wish if they change faster. Other times, we would like to freeze the moments forever. For now, right at this second, I wish I could freeze the moment. But life, huh? It keeps on going.

Treadmill Tales: The Value of Value


I remember the first day I ran on a treadmill. It was a Tuesday afternoon in the gym. I signed up the day before to be more active or something like that. And of course, after a little warm-up, the trainer led me to the treadmill. What can I say?! It was a thrilling experience. The lane beneath my feet kept sliding so fast I barely could breathe or keep up with it. Yet, I didn’t fall. I stumbled a little and I kept going at it. And I sometimes wonder if life is just a non-ending treadmill.

Life has been an adventurous game for me. Not in the way some people say it. I didn’t live vicariously through outdoor experiences like that of skydiving or paragliding. None of the sorts where I would have a surge of adrenaline. But in a way, I had to adjust and readjust too many times. Yes, I feel out of place or trapped in a glass box where I can see unto my life but never experience it. But in the gliding reality of my life, I keep wondering if the world would ever be enough for the slow runners on the giant treadmill.

So, I wonder;

Is the world truly accommodating for the slow runners? For pessimists? The non-believers? The passives? The readers? The academicians? The non-influencers? The invisible ones? The list is unending.

Do not misconstrue these ideas. I am not all of those things, of course. I just keep wondering if the world is truly a home for the thinkers who sit over an idea for a decade or more. The academicians who romanticize theoretical flares even when they don’t provide a comprehensive answer. Is the world accommodating for those who are more intrigued by books rather than 30-second videos? What are the fates of the non-believers? Those who do not get moved by the idea that tomorrow is better? In a way, everybody knows tomorrow is a little bit worse than today. But is the world really accommodating to those who reflect this out loud? Or am I just blinded by the apocalypse fetish Freud mentioned? Is it wrong to be a pessimist? Or is it one of those things where the majority wins? 

I do not suppose no one has full answers to any of the questions. Neither am I trying to answer them all. One thing remains unanswered though. The unquenched thirst for authenticity! Value on and in itself! Beyond the unending treadmill, isn’t there something worth better? That can be valued as best? Can you find your true self in a rushed and paced set of worlds? Or in a serene and quieter setting? In a world where value is not valued anymore, where does value lie? Where do I find it? Everywhere or nowhere?

The Art and the Artist


One of my recent cinematic indulgences was a movie called Tár. The movie concentrated on Lydia Tár, a renowned musician who happened to be an unpleasant person, yet highly talented and gifted in classical music. Throughout the movie, one can assess if it is possible to see the woman for her immaculate skills rather than her shrews and uncanny behaviours. I would not go on further to discuss the movie in further detail, for this is not a review nor a critique of the movie. But I would insist on discussing if one can love the art apart from the artist [the creator].

The relationship between art and the artist is an undefined territory. For many artists out there, their art has an intense entanglement within their being. If many artists were asked to define what their art upholds to them, without a doubt, they remain speechless. Because, well, their art is a mere part of themselves taking a form of a certain reality. Tangible and authentic. For some, if not most, art is a way of articulation of their pain. Or intense ecstasies such as love or the infinitude of one’s happiness. Either way, it is this undeniable connection that makes the question remain in shades.

Does the art fully reside in the artist, though? Yes, undoubtedly, it can become the centre of every act of the artist. But are we meant to find the shreds of his soul or his entire being poured out?

If we were to find the entire being of the artist in the pieces he writes/paints/records, it would make it more than difficult to see them as two distinct entities. That would mean we can fully understand and explore the being of the artist via his art. It would simply mean the art is the artist. And the artist is the art. But I have to admit that it is a bit far-fetched for we humans are much more complicated to be found piled on a piece. Wouldn’t that be something if it was possible, though?

As this gnawing thought spread in my head, I asked my poet friend if he could separate the art from the artist. “I wish to believe that I can distinctly see these two”, he answered. “But”, he went on, “I have seen myself being biased after getting to know the artist. And in many instances, I would prefer if I did not know much about them. It helps me to enjoy the work genuinely.”

As I mentioned, I believe this is an undefined territory. Yet, despite who or what kind of person the artist is, there are undeniable masterpieces I can not seem to hate. After all, aren’t we humans? Imperfect and full of blemishes? Just because we can produce something authentic, it doesn’t necessarily make us transcendental beings. Our art, the piece of our soul, can become transcendental, but not us. I think that is why we always admire art, no matter who we are. For something precious is born from those who are imperfect to live life as supposed.

That is the very reason why it is easy to appreciate art for what it is. This is why a true artist never cares for accolades and recognition. The actual embodiment of the work is rewarding enough. It is true that art fully resides in the artist. But the artist exists in parts to leave his heartbeat elsewhere.


Originally published on February 28/2023

The Aliens are Already Here.

For decades, we humans were searching for extraterrestrial organisms who are not our own kind. The intrigue of this quest is unknown for certain. Nor do we have the slightest idea what they would look like if they were ever true. Yes, there might be scanty evidence for our unfulfilled sketches of these terrifying beings. But ‘fact’ is not the center of this illusion or imagination we have concocted. Apparently, as reflected in multiple movies and narrations, these beings are scary, ugly, and entirely devoid of logic and emotion. And they are coming to colonize and rule our world. In any case, we have heard these so many times it is getting old now. Or sounds like the fairy tales we are accustomed to. 

Here is a thought, though. We are scared of whatever type of creature would land on Earth mainly because we are assuming they are devoid of any logic or emotion. And because of that it wouldn’t be possible for us to reason with them or get their kindness (pity) to preserve our life on this planet. But in reality, aren’t we doing all that to ourselves already? Aren’t we becoming so detached from our emotions from time to time? In this age of sarcasm, are we ever true to our feelings? Aren’t we suffering from a famish of power over the powerless?

I, sometimes, wonder if the entire universe has become the portrait of Dorian Gray in the classic work of Oscar Wilde. In the book, the handsome, young Dorian was painted to have a portrait of his own. Yet, time after time, as Dorian was getting old, and his sins piled up, the painting replaced itself with a monster version. With time Dorian turned away from innocence and kindness to become cruel and brute. With time our planet is losing kindness for the uncanny selfishness with the added value of violence. The painting may seem the same after all. But the truth is, we have defaced from what we were to what we are now. 

Over the years, vulnerability has faded. Revealing true emotions has become a shameful activity. We have, now, descended into the pit of madness where everyone is supposed to pretend to be happy. Or lose their mind while trying. Our social affiliations are on the brink of disappearance. We have alienated ourselves from our own kinds with no enemy bellowing us to do it. Individualism reigns in our realm firmly. It seems like the only thing we share is the collective traumas we have induced on each other. Yet, not to deal with them together, but to brim over them all alone in despair. 

In my opinion, it is safe to say the wait is over.  The aliens are already here. We haven’t grown horns on our skulls or started to have sharper teeth. But we have convoluted ourselves into something else we cannot even begin to understand. “I don’t even know myself,” has become the mantra of our lives. Self-awareness and the obsession to have self-awareness have led us astray to the edge we do not know. Consciousness is an ache we would like to distract ourselves from. Rationalism has become a manipulating mechanism to gain the kind of validation we would like to hear. Distractions from self, thoughts, and any sort of emotion are the only way to give us mental repose. No wonder, we cannot know or recognize ourselves. Are we ever going to face our consciousness sober with no distractions?

Have I been so vulnerable myself, I would have held the moral high ground to lecture every reader to do this and that. But dear reader that would be the worst hypocrisy of all. 

Whenever I think about the things I have lost, imagined or real, I realize the true loss I have suffered from is my vulnerability itself. I cannot spare a fair share of aches or excitements in my life. Not so many people would, these days. 

While waiting for exotic beings that might endanger our life on this planet, we have become eccentric beings of our own kind. We are filled with too many altercations, our perfect portrait has become completely defaced. Without even realizing it, we have conquered our own planet to become the aliens. Perhaps, it is time for us to be human once again. To learn what it means to be a human. And abandon ourselves from the grotesque figure we have become. 

If you are still wondering to know what an alien would look like, though, you only have to stand in front of a mirror. That figure you see standing is the one you have been waiting to see.

The Aesthetic Form of Art


Recently, I had a long argument on a particular perspective of Art with a friend. Since the discussion was over the phone (which I am deeply grateful for), it ended in an open bracket with neither of us giving our intended conclusion. At least on my part. The question on the table was whether every piece of art can become a source of moral guidance. Or a true reference of a principle we would like to acquire. I would say, definitely not.

Passion, emotion, and an analytical mind make a grand combination for curating any work of art. The magnified effect of one of the three might result in unscrupulous work. Or unfinished thoughts, at times. However, maintaining the balance among these three might be the hardest venture one might take upon. Balance is a quest we are always intrigued by, after all. 

This is exactly why, more often than not, art might just be reflective. We might find the heart and soul of the artist without having any didactic principles for ourselves. It is, sometimes, the analyzed perception of oneself as viewed critically. It might be full of jest and a kinder judgment, at other times. It could also be romanticized, victimized, and lack of true self-awareness. One must not forget the uncanny countereffect of the perils of self-reflection, anyway. 

Anyhow, can we ever give a single definition for art? Can we say this is an art, but the other is not? On what standards, really? If art is, just, reflective, can it still be art?

In the 19th century, there was an art movement called Aestheticism. In short, the mantra of the thought was art for art’s sake. It glorified art for what it is. Beauty. A caricature. The leading artists took away the weight of having meaning and implications to appreciate and muse over the work. It might seem like they appropriated the definition of art for their cause. But how can that be a crime since we all do it for whatever greater cause we assume to have? Hated by philistinism believers and those who are disdainful of intellectual or artistic values, the movement was replaced after all. Some even called it a cult for beauty. However, as one reflects on this form of art, there is undeniable significance it can bring to our current trends

Nowadays, we find many people writing, painting, mixing, or recording themselves to relieve the sore feeling they are experiencing. And I sometimes wonder if the final fate of art is becoming a vent of our emotions and turmoils?

This is why I would recommend having a reflective art journal. A notebook. A note-taking app on phone. Any writing or doodling device one can afford to have would do. For one, jotting down your ideas would help correctly track the train of thought one has. It is, sometimes, hard to distinctly understand the intended meaning if it is not further reflected upon. It is also helpful to differentiate the exaggerated versions from the realistic part of it. Having this process would prevent a hasty publication without a good look of a self-critic.   

By no means, I cannot judge or acclaim whether that is an art or not. But I would assert this: Perhaps one must carefully analyze and speculate whether every vent is a work of art. For the deep respect I have regarding art I, to the very least, wish to hear a critically challenged perception of thought other than a shallow observation of any incident. Although we, as humans, are cursed to be more than biased (on our emotions) in our utterances, a few things might help to refine our works like that of a reflective art journal. Otherwise, one is doomed to be a slave of a cacophony of undifferentiated voices leaving art at the mercy of jest and unworthy status. 

For me, still, art can be a reflective summary. If one can find a guiding principle for life, wouldn’t that be gold? But I don’t suppose we must always find a prescriptive rule of law for life.

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