I remember the first day I ran on a treadmill. It was a Tuesday afternoon in the gym. I signed up the day before to be more active or something like that. And of course, after a little warm-up, the trainer led me to the treadmill. What can I say?! It was a thrilling experience. The lane beneath my feet kept sliding so fast I barely could breathe or keep up with it. Yet, I didn’t fall. I stumbled a little and I kept going at it. And I sometimes wonder if life is just a non-ending treadmill.
Life has been an adventurous game for me. Not in the way some people say it. I didn’t live vicariously through outdoor experiences like that of skydiving or paragliding. None of the sorts where I would have a surge of adrenaline. But in a way, I had to adjust and readjust too many times. Yes, I feel out of place or trapped in a glass box where I can see unto my life but never experience it. But in the gliding reality of my life, I keep wondering if the world would ever be enough for the slow runners on the giant treadmill.
So, I wonder;
Is the world truly accommodating for the slow runners? For pessimists? The non-believers? The passives? The readers? The academicians? The non-influencers? The invisible ones? The list is unending.
Do not misconstrue these ideas. I am not all of those things, of course. I just keep wondering if the world is truly a home for the thinkers who sit over an idea for a decade or more. The academicians who romanticize theoretical flares even when they don’t provide a comprehensive answer. Is the world accommodating for those who are more intrigued by books rather than 30-second videos? What are the fates of the non-believers? Those who do not get moved by the idea that tomorrow is better? In a way, everybody knows tomorrow is a little bit worse than today. But is the world really accommodating to those who reflect this out loud? Or am I just blinded by the apocalypse fetish Freud mentioned? Is it wrong to be a pessimist? Or is it one of those things where the majority wins?
I do not suppose no one has full answers to any of the questions. Neither am I trying to answer them all. One thing remains unanswered though. The unquenched thirst for authenticity! Value on and in itself! Beyond the unending treadmill, isn’t there something worth better? That can be valued as best? Can you find your true self in a rushed and paced set of worlds? Or in a serene and quieter setting? In a world where value is not valued anymore, where does value lie? Where do I find it? Everywhere or nowhere?
Unabridged Manuscripts 
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