I get exhausted easily. My mind becomes numb after few hours of operations. It’s like I have to maintain my room temperature. I don’t know why I’m this delicate at times. Few things drain me out. Little things tend to overwhelm me. It’s like living on the very edge of a mountain. If I can’t maintain my balance for a while, it’s like I’m meant to end up falling to the depth of the valley. And maintaining the silence both in the inside and outside is one way to do it somehow. Where could be a better place more than a library to maintain your room temperature, then? The room full of silence along with the books like a wall for your thoughts! Imaginations dipped in great words to construe your reality well, and to fill your chaotic mind with peaceful alms for you to hang on in this hectic world.
I don’t recall the first time I got into a library. Not even the age range I was in. I was probably in mid school though. I don’t think I had this immense realization or instant love for it either. But lately, I’ve come to realize something. Libraries are not just the center of academic stress. Yeah, I admit, their smell even could remind you the howling nights you’ve struggled against the time and the pages. But despite those many nights, libraries have their own awe in making silence reign the space. Sometimes, I want to think that we keep silent in the library to pay our respect to the books. In spending much time in the library, living in so many books at once, here’s the skill you will develop. Listening to yourself quietly. Paying attention to the details of your mind ardently. And breath for a while in this chaotic and loud so called urban life. Just breath for a moment!
As I grow up, this is one of the things I’ve realized about myself. I hate the chaos and disarray of this world. I hate the loud noises which are supposed to be comfortable for others. Enjoying life in the company of many voices is vague for me. I have an ultimate tranquility in the absolute silence of my environment. I reach out to my solace in the voices of my head from my imagination. That’s the only voice I would love to hear. That’s the only voice that puts me at ease.
So, yeah. I might not know how much I loved libraries back then. But now, I know I adore them most. You might wonder, do you have to be in library to achieve the ultimate solace? Not necessarily I guess, but most probably. As Pythagoras puts it “meaningful silence is better than meaningless words.” The thing about the chaos of this world is, it’s filled with meaningless words. And libraries are filled with meaningful silence. I would rather die in the solemn silence of them than live in the sea of inane words.
So, change of dreams! What do you wanna do when you grow up? This is one of the most common questions one hears in lifetime. There may be multiple answers for it. One thing is sure though. I’m gonna build a library of my own in my house. A home library! That’s an actual dream. I can picture the beautiful shelves on my walls. I can sniff the smell of the books. Even the thought of it gives me an ecstasy. I can see the collections I’ll have. In the generation where hard copies are being overthrown, I’ll be the home of many of the great books.
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Unabridged Manuscripts 